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PorkyMinch (also known as Porky, Preoky and Pokey) is a member of ACN based on the character of the same name from the EarthBound series. He is the fifth top poster on ACN, but most of his posts are illegible. His account is owned by FuturisticKitty.


Porky was a young boy who lived at home with his parents, who were cruel and mean to anyone but him, until he was possessed by Giygas and left for an adventure. When he failed, he thought it was a good idea to travel through time and ruin more people's lives. But in the end, when he realised he wasn't going to succeed, he found his way onto ACN and fell in love with Carole. He's been killed multiple times but resurrects every time.


Porky has quite a large family, but only because he's related to PickyMinch and NintenGirl (Jadie). Picky is his brother, and their mother and father are Lardna Minch and Aloysius Minch. Picky is married to Jadie, and had two children, which Porky is the uncle to. One of their children, Grayson, also had a child, Ciara.

Porky had two of his own children with Carole, but when she broke up with him, he went crazy and started spamming ACN. Also, his typing began to worsen. Carole also put the children up for adoption, and now live happily with their foster parents, whose names are unknown.

His bad typing then attracted another spammer called Jedward Cullen. They fell in love (kind of) and spend their time doing inappropriate things.

Then LilMissMarshmallow came along and said she loved Porky more. Now Porky has two partners but feels no guilt.


Porky is incredibly stupid and spends most of his time spamming the site and doing "stuff" with Jedward and Little Miss Marshmallow. He's a jerk who throws terrible, misspelt insults at people, which only he and Jedward find funny. To most people, he's seen as a waste of space, as he just annoys people.


All his hobbies are far too inappropriate to say.